Coldpocalypse Satire


Day 74

It has been 74 days now since the world froze over.  Writing and keeping track of this grueling ordeal no longer offers comfort.  I believe it is possible that most of humanity is no longer functioning.  I have come to the conclusion that I will not be rescued from this cold, ever.  The local indigenous people seem to not care about anything anymore either, they are sliding their way across mountainous ice formations with no thought process in place as if tempting the gods to pull them into the chilled waters.   There have been rumors of grand ice ledges, some have gone to explore them and some have not returned.

The general mood is that come Groundhog Day, well it’s pretty clear that even the groundhog has fallen prey to this ice age we are having.  There is little hope that he will provide sufficient hope to carry us through the frigid blast that appears to have no end in sight.  At the last sighting of the ground hog he was floating away on an ice berg. 

The few scientists and weather people seem to be stumped by Mother Nature.  They are continually at war with each other. Some speak of the myth of summer time clouds and a nearing end to the arctic blast we are feeling.  Others are convinced the world is truly over or at the very least life as we knew it. One militant gathered a group of people to launch snow bombs at one faction of the weather people, sadly they were unsuccessful.

Sunny days, blue skies, green grass and the humid heat all seem a distant memory now. I try to keep these things in mind at this difficult juncture.   I believe one day it will be warm again.  I just am unable to envision it right now.  


The author of the above diary entry was last seen running around in circles in the  forest wearing flip flops screaming some sort of ranting. The only understanding we can gain from the ranting is that it had something to do with circles, the word friend and exploding birds.  It is felt that she may have lost her mind.


4 thoughts on “Coldpocalypse Satire

  1. I’d worry about you if I wasn’t so cold myself…….
    I can’t hear myself type coz my teeth are chattering louder than the hailstorm that is currently trying to shatter my windows AND……….my central heating pump is knackered!!!!!!!!!!!
    (I hate fuc*in’ winter).


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