That Spark and the power of anger

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About a week ago I decided to take a break and figure out what was going on with the POD.  I have had several brainstorm moments that resulted in great findings and horrible headaches.  I need a few days to digest it all but so far this is what I have learned.

  • I started taking photography for granted.  My camera was always with me.  There were no lost moments so moments began having less impact.
  • Photography is not my only creative outlet.  I was under the belief that I had to honor it above all other forms.  There by causing myself to not go full throttle on the other outlets and causing myself to resent photography.
  • Most of my work is emotion based. There for I need to work through the emotions to really bring it to the highest form of expression that I can.  I thought love was going to be the hardest emotion to work through.  I was wrong.  Anger is the toughest.  I have been thrown curve ball after curve ball the last three months.  They keep coming.  Today is the first day after all of these curve balls that I finally acknowledged the anger on ALL fronts. Big moment for me and a great sense of calm.  Before I just took whatever and made the best out of it no matter what.  Now that I have named it I can deal with the anger.
  • I was making it all harder than it needed to be.  I was so focused and getting everything perfect that it was no longer natural.  You can’t force creativity.  It flows naturally.  When it does not flow there is a huge problem.
  • Sometimes the POD and the BLOG do not feel right to me because there is so much I can’t or won’t show or say.    The idea of doing something very publicly is a weird thing.  The POD was about my Facebook friends and it was safe.  The blog is about new people and new adventures.  It is about the written words as much as the picture.   It is less safe.  Now that I understand that I can fight that as well.

I am grateful for the last few days.  I think after the holiday I will be back and on a rampage.  I have that spark that has been missing bursting to get out.

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